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Tom Brady is the devil...and other things to watch for Saturday night

Tom Brady? Or Beelzebub?

As a Lions fan, I have fostered and cultivated a sublime loathing of Brett Favre...the Devil who wears #4....but the devil is gone now...retired (I've heard that before...)

 

And as of yet, he has not returned. 

 

And as anyone who is an avid fan of horror and just generally scary movies, the vanquishing of an evil that great leaves a nasty void....and something will come forward to fill it.

 

Logically, one would assume that that would probably be Aaron Rodgers...and whereas I don't think he's necessarily a good guy in most Lions' eyes...he's no devil-esque Farve-type...more like a Snidely Whiplash--and who can take anybody with handlebar mustaches seriously anymore?

 

Maybe someday, Rodgers will be able to ascend to such dastardly heights...but not yet. 

 

So then, who fills the void...Tom frickin' Brady fills the void.  That's who.

 

This guy is so worthy of hate.  He has everything!  He's married to a super model.  He's got a kid with another super model.  He's in movies.  He's won three super bowls.  Everything he touches turns to gold.  He's really good looking too...not that I've noticed...He's all smiley and funny and enormously rich...

 

I'm pretty sure that Tom Brady is either the devil himself...or he's made a pretty one sided deal with him.

 

And the new devil is on his way to Detroit for the third preseason game...the one all of the starters are supposed to play the whole first half of...

 

What can the Lions expect from the devil?  What should you watch for?  Let me tell you.

 

1. Again, does Matthew Stafford stay healthy?  Really, that's all that matters in this game.  He is the whole kit and kaboodle.  One day, hopefully, Stafford will be some other teams' devil---like hopefully, Green Bay's or Chicago's. 

 

2.   Does the D-line play well?  Hopefully well enough that the Kong will break through the line, rip off Brady's right arm and bury it under a goal post.  That'd be sweet...of course, the NFL would have to fine him again....

 

3.  Does Louis Delmas even show up....I know they'll announce his name as a starting safety...but does he really play.  More than two tackles worth?

 

4. Who's running the ball for the Leo's?  Are they worth a damn?

 

5. Can Willie Young continue to mangle and devestate the grocery baggers that'll he be playing against in the fourth quarter?

 

6.  How does Jeff Backus look good in his first action this season?  How does the line look in general?  If the Lions can run the ball and Stafford isn't on a stretcher...they're probably doing pretty good.

 

7. Rookie WR Titus Young is getting his first action.  I think the kid ways 12 pounds, but I may be overstating it.  Let me just say that he's....skinny.  Hopefully, he's fast enough to avoid getting smashed into a thousand piece jig-saw puzzle.

 

Oh, and I don't say all that stuff about Brady because I'm jealous of Mr. Perfect...really....I'm not....I swear....

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